Broken Wings
by SenseiBigFish
Summary: In one of the Survey Corps' expeditions, Armin gets injured and Eren starts wondering whether he and Armin will be able to explore the outside world or will they be stuck behind the walls forever. (Warning: CONTAINS SPOILERS AND CHARACTERS MAY SEEM A BIT OC. MAY CONTAIN YAOI/BL SITUATIONS, DON'T LIKE, DON'T READ) (Note: This is my first story so reviews are always appreciated! :D)
1. Chapter 1

(CHARACTERS MAY SEEM A BIT OC. MAY ALSO CONTAIN YAOI/BL. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.)

* * *

Chapter 1

"_Wouldn't it be great if, one day, we could go explore the outside world, too?"_

Eren reminisced as he looked at the unconscious body lying in his arms. He didn't notice how limp Armin's arms have gotten, how pale his skin was. The blood of his friend splattered on the ground reminded him of the traumatizing images from the attack 5 years ago at Zhiganshina.

"_With my final breath before my death, I shall wish for humanity's glory, and try to persuade you of his strategic value!"_

He remembered that day when Mikasa and Armin did so much for him when he was so vulnerable during those trainee years. Armin was always there for him, but he couldn't be there for Armin at the most crucial time. He felt like a useless piece of shit. He looked at Armin's unconscious face and noticed that he let the titans hurt another member of his family. He felt useless, ashamed, disappointed, and pathetic. He had the ability to save mankind and yet he couldn't save his own best friend?

"Eren!" Mikasa was making her way to them. She saw the look on Eren's face, and it was the same one he made when he witnessed his mother's death. _"This can't be good," _Mikasa thought as she made her way but was suddenly interrupted by an Aberrant. It was heading for Eren and Armin and she had to quickly stop it. She started using her 3D maneuver gear and headed towards it. She quickly prepared her blades as she hooked the cord onto the nape of the titan. She felt the sudden adrenaline rush and worked her way faster. She raised her blades as she got closer and sliced the titan. The titan collapsed and she ran towards Eren and Armin.

Eren was in tears when she made got closer to them. "What—"  
"I COULDN'T DO ANYTHING!" Eren yelled at Mikasa while clinging onto Armin. "He got attacked and what did I do? Nothing! I stood there like an idiot, seeing my best friend unconscious on the ground and look at him! He's barely alive and, and—"  
They suddenly heard a soft raspy voice coming from the body. "Eren…"  
Eren was snapped out of his daze and looked at Armin's face. "Armin?" he whispered softly, as if the chaos around them was non-existent. Armin smiled and held Eren's hand. Their fingers intertwined, like that day when Eren erupted from the titan's corpse. "You're going to be okay, alright?" Eren said as another member from the squad came to the three of them.

"We must evacuate quickly while there are no titans in sight!" he told them. "Commander's orders. We must leave immediately." He continued, eyeing Armin.

Mikasa picked Armin up, seeing that Eren didn't like what his comrade was implying. Their bickering would get them killed if she didn't intervene. "C'mon, we have to go."

They started running towards the horses standing by, waiting for their riders. They quickly mounted the horses and rode back to the headquarters.

"_Armin… Armin..." _was all Eren could think about. He didn't know if Armin would wake up again._ "Oh god, please be alive. We're almost there." _He started to feel tears streak down his face again. _"What about that promise about when we get to explore the outside world together? How about the things that you talked about like the sea? How about the flaming water, the frozen earth, the plains of sand, as white as snow? I want to be able to fulfil that dream of yours, to be able to see the whole world with you." _He was stricken by the fact that if Armin died, what would happen then? Not only would he lose his best friend, he would lose the strategic side of the team, the one that was able to keep them alive all this time. He still had Mikasa by his side, but wouldn't she be just as sad as him? Wouldn't they both feel the same grief for the loss of his friend? But Eren knew that he didn't really feel the same as Mikasa does to Armin.

Eren was thinking too much about this. _"No," he thought to himself. "He's going to survive, he will."  
_

* * *

Mikasa noticed the look on Eren's face. She knew that he was thinking about Armin, she always knew. Although she had feelings towards Eren, she always knew that he thought of her as a sister. She noticed the way he would look at Armin with softer eyes, but didn't look at her the same way. It pained her whenever she would realize that Eren would never see her rather than a sister. Her mind always tells her that instead of being like that, she should support him in every way that if he was happy, she'd be happy as well, but her heart wouldn't agree…

They arrived at the headquarters of the Survey Corps, quickly heading to the room where all the injured were attended to.

"Maybe we aren't ready for the outside world, Armin." Eren said softly, gazing at Armin. "No…" Eren heard Armin's soft voice once more. Eren leaned in closer. "Armin…" he said in disbelief. "Eren… you can see the outside world. You're ready for it. Maybe, some people just weren't meant to…maybe I'm just too weak to-" Eren grabbed Armin's shoulders. "Armin, you were never weak! Armin, mankind is just going to get stronger and stronger! You, me and Mikasa! We make each other stronger and we're just as strong as the other! Armin, we can do this. Just have faith."

The doors suddenly burst open, welcoming in Levi and Erwin. They made their way to Armin's bed, Levi staring down at Eren.  
"We are fully aware of the situation with your friend." Levi looked at Armin and glared at Eren. "Although this wouldn't have happened if you acted fast enough," He murmured, and then looked directly at Eren. "We need to get back to your training. We are having another expedition soon so we need to be prepared." Eren was about to protest but Armin interrupted him.  
"Just go Eren, I'll be fine." He smiled at him and Eren averted his eyes, not wanting to show his vulnerability.  
"Well?" Levi started to get a bit impatient, tapping his foot on the floor.  
"Yeah, I'm going." Eren stood up, glanced at Armin and left.

* * *

**A/N: Thanks so much for reading. This is my first story so reviews are appreciated! :D**


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Thanks guys for the all follows and favorites! I hope you enjoy this chapter and **reviews are** **appreciated! **(Seriously if you have advice or anything, feel free to leave one. :D)

* * *

Chapter 2

The expedition was finally over. The Survey Corps was heading back to the headquarters.

"Eren," Mikasa called out. "I need to talk to you about something." Eren looked over his shoulder and saw Mikasa motioning him to come over to the rear end of the formation. "Eren." Levi said before he could break the formation. "You will not be more than two horses behind me, so get back to your position." Eren then motioned Mikasa to come forward.

"Mikasa, you will not break the formation either. You must realize that if the formation breaks, it could get us all killed?" Levi said with his usual stern look and made the squad move faster. "Do not break the rules."  
"But sir, it's quite urgent that I speak to him. It would be best if we speak about it now rather than in the headquarters. The matter is quite…personal." Levi scoffed and continued moving the squad. "If you're that desperate, just go talk to him. It will be your fault if we get ambushed because of the formation."

Mikasa headed towards Eren and brought him to the side of the formation.

"So, what is it that you wanted to talk about?" Eren asked in curiosity.  
"It's about Armin." Mikasa said. "What do you think of him?"  
"Um," Eren hesitated. "Well, he's my best friend? Mikasa, why are you asking?"  
_"Huh, so he hasn"t noticed." _Mikasa thought to herself. "Eren, what do you think of me?" Mikasa then asked.  
"Well, you're family to me. The way I've thought of you hasn't changed throughout the years. You're like a sister to me."

"_I knew he'd say that." _ Mikasa thought as she looked down. She didn't want to look disappointed with Eren's answer. He doesn't know that she likes him that way considering he was so oblivious to most things. She chuckled at the thought of him being so naïve when she would tell him lies that would scare him when they were kids and all the other happy memories they shared.

"_That was before all of this happened…"_ Mikasa thought about what happened during the attack five years ago. That one day changed everything. It weighed so much on Mikasa's mind that she didn't notice Eren calling her. "Mikasa, where is all of this coming from?" Mikasa only stared. She looked down for a moment and then turned to Eren. "Eren, what gave you the strength to save Armin when that titan… was about to eat him?" Eren was shocked by the question. "Mikasa, would you not have done the same thing?" Eren thought about it. The sight of Armin being swallowed up by a titan, it was unbearable. Before he met Mikasa, Armin was his only friend. He was the only one who could put up with his audacious bullshit.

"Eren." Mikasa called, snapping him out of his daze. "You were thinking about him just now, weren't you?" Eren felt his cheeks redden. He denied, but he knew he was lying to Mikasa and himself.

As they arrived at the headquarters, Eren ran to Armin's room. "Armin!" Eren called out, seeking some assurance that Armin was okay. The door to Armin's room flew open as Eren ran towards him. Armin smiled. The sight reminded him so much of those days when the other kids would pick on him and he'd see Eren run and **try** to defend him. Most of those times, the two of them would come home all beat up with a black eye and a bloody nose, that is until they met Mikasa. Then Armin remembered that it was always like that. Eren was always there to get him back up on his feet. He never did it by himself. He felt weak. He felt like a burden to his comrades.

"Armin! Hey Armin!" He heard Eren calling him. "I think we should go for a walk and just sit by the river like before." Eren suggested. Armin agreed and left the room with Eren.

As they sat by the river, Eren started. "Mikasa was asking me some weird questions a while ago." He paused to look at Armin's reaction, and then continued. "She asked me questions like how I think about you and how I think about her-" Eren trailed off. Armin was surprised by what seemed to be Mikasa about to confess to Eren. "_What does Eren think of Mikasa?" _Armin wondered. He always knew that Mikasa liked Eren. It was so obvious but Eren didn't read any of the hints she was giving off.

"What do you really think of Mikasa?" Armin mustered up the courage to ask him. "She's family to me. She's like a sister. Hey Armin, you better not start asking stupid questions like Mikasa!" Eren laughed, giving Armin a soft punch on the arm. "Haha…" Armin tried laughing it off. He felt weird whenever Eren would touch him. It made him feel warm. It was the same touch that would get him back up on his feet, the same touch that has been supporting him, holding him up and protecting him. It was the same touch that made him feel loved. But he felt guilty. Mikasa has **always** felt that way towards Eren, but it seemed to just never get to him. Armin thought that if he ever tried, the outcome would be the same, and he was a guy after all.

Eren stared at Armin who seemed to be deep in thought. He looked so beautiful. Eren realized that he never looked at Mikasa this way. What if he **did** think differently about Armin?

"Armin." Eren caught Armin's attention. "Aren't you afraid of me? I… I'm a titan for fuck's sake!" Armin smiled. "I don't really mind. You fight for a different reason. As long as it's you inside that titan, I don't mind at all. I trust you, Eren. I have faith in you." Eren stared at Armin, feeling his eyes watering. He remembered the faith he had in Levi's squad. The faith that got most of the squad killed. "Don't have too much faith in me, Armin. It could get you killed." Eren said, as he stood up. "I don't want to lose you, Armin. You and Mikasa are all I have left." Armin followed quickly after him.

Armin stopped, causing Eren to stop as well. Eren held his hand out and smiled. "Come on Armin." Armin took Eren's hand. He never wanted to let go. He knew that Eren would always be there for him, but he also knew that one day, he'd have to stand up on his own. For now, he'll just have to savor the time he has with Eren.

* * *

They returned back to the headquarters. Apparently, Levi was making a big announcement at the auditorium about the next expedition they were going to have.

"Considering our expeditions lately have been successful, it's time to take our plans to the next degree," Levi started as he walked back and forth at the front from one end to another. "We will have Eren turn to his titan form to lure in the titans, and attack them all."

Commotion erupted from the crowd, loud whispering and protests exchanged to one another. "Now, we are fully aware about the consequences and sacrifices that come with such a plan, but we will do whatever it takes to reclaim Zhiganshina, no matter what.  
We have three days to prepare the weapons, to train, and to improve our strategic plan and formation. We will notify all of you the plan when it has been settled. Train well, and be prepared. You are dismissed." Levi turned and headed for the door. "Oh, and Eren and Armin, please meet me at my office." He left the room.

Noise filled the area and people were heading left and right to get prepared. Eren and Armin made their way out of the room and into Levi's office. By the time they got there, Levi was sitting by his desk doing some paperwork.

"I've called you here because you two will play big parts in our plan for our next expedition for obvious reasons." Levi turned his attention to both of them.

"Let's get started, shall we?"


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Sorry to keep you guys waiting! I didn't know whether to continue or not, but thanks to that review, I got kinda pumped XD. Hope you enjoy!

**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own Attack on Titan, but I sure wish I did.

* * *

Chapter 3

Three days of practices, preparation, and attempts (some successful and some not) of improvement went by. By the time the strategies and weapons were ready, it was time for the squad to go. Eren was feeling nauseous, since this plan depended on him. The squad has already left the headquarters and are on their way to at least get closer to reclaiming Zhiganshina. He looked over at the side of the formation to see Armin. He remembered the words he said to him before they left.

"_You're going to be fine," Armin said as he was preparing his 3D maneuver gear. "You shouldn't worry too much. You're just putting more pressure on yourself."  
"But Armin," Eren said as he stood up from the chair he was sitting on. "If I mess this up, the whole plan will be ruined. People will lose their lives and it's going to be because of me—"_

_Armin took hold of Eren's shoulders and shook him. "Eren, listen to me." Armin said. "The more you think like that, the more likely it is that it'll happen. I," Armin stopped and restarted his sentence. "Mikasa and I have faith in you. We both believe that you can do this so stop worrying. You're better than that," Armin let go and headed off to put on his gear, but was interrupted when Eren took hold of his hand._

"_You really think so?" Eren said with worried eyes._

"_Yeah," Armin said and smiled. "You can do this. I know you can."_

Eren was happy that Armin was at his side. Armin made him feel safe and was always there for him. Armin had this type of feeling you get from him that made you think that everything was going to be okay. Armin was also good at strategy and thinking. But there was something else that made Eren think more deeply about Armin, he just couldn't seem to—

"Eren!" Levi shouted. "I have been calling you all this time. Turn your attention to where we are headed, not your silly day dreams. We have a plan to stick to that can risk many people's lives if you lose concentration like that. Stay on guard and wait for my signal."  
Eren murmured an apology and looked straight to where they were headed.

* * *

By the time they were near the area, everyone took their places. The formation forged into something new, a more offensive formation for when titans will come. Everyone was in their rightful place, Eren and Levi's squad taking the front.

"Eren, you know what to do." Levi said and nodded to the front, motioning him to move forward.

Eren nodded, and controlled his horse to go faster, getting a bit ahead from the formation.

"_This is it," _Eren thought as he raised his hand. _"Let's do this." _He bit his hand.

Lightning and thunder struck through the sky as his body started to evolve, getting bigger and bigger. He felt his body transform and the adrenaline rushing in, as his mind was set to his goal. He shouted and screamed, feeling everything all at once. When he was a full titan, he shouted as loud as he can to the point that the ground was rumbling and the trees were attempting to fall. He then felt heavy footsteps coming their way, one thud after another.

"_They're coming," _Eren thought and started running forward, a signal making the squad mover forward too.

"Advance forward!" Erwin shouted at the squad as he started to move faster. "Ready your weapons! Keep your formation and do whatever it takes to stop them!"

As they advanced forward, they heard the titans' footsteps getting nearer. Eren ran faster, encountering a forest. He's was trying to catch up to the titans coming to distract them before the squad would get there. He heard 3D maneuver gears being used by the members of the squad, advancing from tree to tree, others staying there ready for ambush.

The titans appeared, and Eren tried his best to distract them while the squad attacked. Left and right he can hear big footsteps, cords stretching, and gas being used as he ran through the forest. He killed a few that were able to get close enough to him, but they were too many. Although his squad was not losing members, the amount of titans approaching them were uncountable. All of the sudden, Abberant titans started to ambush him, clinging into his arms and legs and were biting. He screamed in pain, attempting to push them off. There were too many of them, enough to overwhelm Eren and pushed him onto the ground.

"_Damn it," _Eren thought as he was still attempting to push them off. _"I'm supposed to be stronger than this. I'm supposed to be able to push them off easily but here I am having trouble."_

Suddenly, he heard Armin's voice from a distance.

"Eren!" Armin shouted as he made his way to him.

"_No," _Eren started to shout, trying his best to push of the titans. _"Don't go here Armin! You'll get killed!"_

A titan who was on Eren noticed the voice, and made his way to Armin. Eren screamed at the top of his lungs, and was able to stand back up, trying to run. Armin noticed this and stopped, thinking of another way to get to Eren. But the titan was too fast. The titan raised his hand and smacked it on the cord of Armin's gear, causing Armin to hit a tree and lay unconscious on the ground.

"_No. No, no, no, no." _Eren was suddenly filled with anger and fear at the same time. _"It's my fault he's like this, my fault." _

And suddenly, all Eren saw was pitch black.

* * *

_Eren was walking around the hills alone, feeling the cold breeze and the fresh scent of flowers. As he reached to the end of a cliff, the sky suddenly darkened and crows appeared out of nowhere. They pecked on his flesh, gnawing and biting on his skin. He screamed in agony, telling them to stop and shouted for help. Out of the wall of black surrounding him, he saw Armin through the gaps. Armin was staring at the sky, not minding Eren at all. He shouted at Armin to try getting his attention, and reached out to touch Armin. Armin turned around and Eren stood in shock, looking through Armin's blood shot eyes and bloody mouth. He smiled at Eren and jumped off the cliff._

Eren woke up with a jump, sweating all over and having heavy pants. He looked around where he was and noticed he was back at the headquarters, in one of the rooms attended for the sick and injured. He stood up, a bit too fast suddenly causing a headache. He grabbed his forehead and groaned, waiting for the pain to stop. Afterwards, he made his way to Armin's room.

When he got there, he saw Levi's squad and Mikasa surrounding the bed. The attention of all of them turned to Eren's direction.

"What happened?" Eren asked as he made his way to Armin's bed.  
"You passed out, probably because of the titans that ambushed you. We evacuated as quickly as possible." Mikasa said, looking at Eren with worried eyes. Eren suddenly remembered why he was here and asked. "And Armin? How is he?"

"Well," Levi stared, crossing his legs. "He seems to be fine, but…"  
"But?"

"Eren? Is that you?" Eren heard Armin and rushed near the bed and took hold of Armin's hand.  
"Oh my god, Armin," Eren said as he held Armin's hand tighter in his grip. "Are you alright? You're not injured are you?" Armin started reaching out at Eren, but end up missing and trying again, only to hit Eren in the face. "Armin," Eren started worrying. "What are you doing?"

"I…I can't see you," Armin tried reaching out again. "Where…?"

The realization dawned on Eren as he kept watching Armin. _"No," He thought. "He can't be…"_

"He wasn't physically injured but," Levi started. "It seems that his brain took a bit damage and made him partially blind. He can only see shadows and colors now."

Eren loosened his grip and let go of Armin's hand. Tears started to roll down his face as he continued to stare at Armin.

_Armin, who was his best friend._

_Armin, who he said he'd always protect._

_Armin, who was now blind, only being able to see shadows and colors._

Eren's eyes widened as another hit of realization struck him.

_Armin, who can't see the outside world as clearly as he wished to._

. . .

_And it was all his fault._

* * *

A/N: Sorry to end this chapter on such a bad note *bitch-slaps self* but it'll get happier… I think. Anyways, thanks for reading and as always, **please review!**


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Thanks for waiting! Sorry if it took long or if it's too short, but hey, I tried.

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own attack on titan but I pretend that I do in my dreams.

* * *

Chapter 4

"Shut the hell up!" Eren yelled, grabbing Levi by his collar. "Eren!" Mikasa yelled as she tried controlling Eren who might have done something drastically idiotic. Eren let go of Levi and stormed out of the room. Mikasa ran after Eren, leaving behind a very lost Armin. "Eren!" Mikasa yelled once more, trying to catch his attention. Turning around and wiping his tears, Eren faced Mikasa. The sight in front of her caused a sharp pain to her heart. She didn't want to see her strong, spirited friend like this. "Armin didn't deserve this…" Eren said. Mikasa didn't say a word as she only watched. "How could Levi say that in front of him?" Eren screamed as it echoed through the empty hallway. "What else **could** he say? Was there any other way of saying it? There was no point in sugar-coating it or hiding it from Armin." Mikasa said to Eren, and then continued. "Armin is looking for you. He doesn't understand what's happening." And with this, Eren and Mikasa returned to the Armin's room.

"Eren? Are you there?" Armin called. Eren sat next to Armin's bed and held his hand once more. "I'm sorry Armin." He said as his voice wavered. Eren broke into tears again, laying his head on his and Armin's hands. _"It's best that we leave." _Mikasa thought, looking at Levi as she motioned that the both of them best leave. As Eren cried, he felt a soft, warm hand rested on his head, intertwined with his brown locks of hair as they comforted him. "Eren… Captain Levi told me what happened. It was never your fault. You don't have to burden yourself with my issues because I know you're sad and… it's killing me inside, Eren!" Armin said as he felt tears streaming down his face as well.

Eren ceased his crying and saw Armin, fragile, delicate, beautiful Armin and he was crying for him. Eren placed his hands on Armin's cheeks, wiping away Armin's tears. Armin saw the blurred colors of Eren's face. Armin touched Eren's face, remembering every bump and indent there was. Armin laughed, causing a confused expression to dawn onto Eren's face. "I can still see your face without having to see." Armin said as he flashed one of his angelic smiles.

"_I love him."_ Eren thought. No, he knew. He was sure of it.  
"Armin…" he said as his face got closer, and closer to Armin's.  
_"No. I can't. He'd just get hurt again. If he got hurt again, it could be the last time." _Eren thought, eyes widening. He furthered himself from Armin. "Eren?" Armin called with confusion in his voice as he grabbed onto Eren's sleeve. "Captain Levi is at the door. I'll see you later, Armin." Armin let go of the sleeve and smiled, allowing Eren to leave. Eren looked over his shoulder on his way out and saw Armin's smile once more. It pierced his heart. He lied to Armin. He took advantage of his blindness. There was no way that he could be with Armin; he played as the softness, kindness, innocence and intelligence of the team. Eren was dangerous, wicked, and a liar, so he believed. Armin was too good for him.

"Eren!" Mikasa called as Eren walked past her. "Hey, Eren!" She repeated, grabbing Eren's arm. "What happened in there?"  
"Nothing you need to know." Eren said coldly. There was a look of despair in his eyes. Mikasa didn't understand. She could only watch him shrug her hand off and walk away.

* * *

"Armin, it's me, Mikasa." She said through Armin's door. _No reply. _"Armin?" Mikasa repeated as she entered the room. _Empty._ "Armin?" Mikasa repeated, but this time much louder with a more worried tone. Mikasa glanced at the window. The wind blew the slightly opened window wide open. She had pieced together what must have happened.

"Eren? Eren, wake up!" Mikasa called in a frantic tone, shaking him violently. "What the hell Mikasa?" Eren said, waking up from his sleep. Mikasa gave Eren a look that told him everything.

As they prepared their 3D manuever gear, "Eren… about Armin-"  
"Let's go." Eren interrupted Mikasa, walking past her. "Come on!" He yelled standing at the doorway. "He couldn't have gone too far." Mikasa said. "I knew that, but what if something could've happened to him?" Eren said, running around the roads of Wall Rose. "I think it would be best if we spread out." Mikasa suggested and Eren complied without a word. Mikasa saw determination in his eyes. He was completely driven to find Armin which was understandable enough. He blamed himself for all that's happened to Armin, but she knew that something else fuelled his drive to find Armin.

"_Explore the outside world…" _Armin repeated the words over, and over again. A tear rolled down his cheek. How could he explore the outside world if he couldn't see? He wanted to find a way… a way to see without using his eyes, a way to fulfil his and Eren's dream. He didn't want to disappoint Eren. He didn't want to be considered _weak_ or _livestock_. _"I shouldn't have done this. How am I going to get back to headquarters?"_ and then it hit him. Why would he return to headquarters? He couldn't possibly be considered a member of the Survey Corps anymore. He wouldn't be able to use his 3D maneuver gear and fight titans. He wouldn't be able to see at all. The crystal clear image of instant death flashed through his mind. The clearest image he'd seen like this. He fell to his knees and grabbed his head, as if trying to squeeze the image out of his mind. _"Eren… Eren… I want to go home." _ Armin thought as he started to cry.

"Armin!" he heard a voice call out. It repeated his name over and over again. The voice was screaming his name throughout the streets. _"Eren?" _he thought to himself as he saw a blurred figure of mostly beige and white running towards him. The figure was the only thing that contrasted the dark, dimly-lit streets. Armin reached his arm out to touch the figure. "Armin! Dear God, are you out of your mind? What the hell were you doing out of bed?" Eren showed irritation in his voice, but it also showed concern. He wrapped his arms around Armin. "I don't want to be weak… I don't want to be like livestock! I don't want to live like a caged animal! Just because I can't see, doesn't mean that I want to live like this, not knowing what the outside world is like!" Armin said, curled up in Eren's arms expecting a smack somewhere on the head. "Armin…" said Eren with a soft voice. "We're protecting you because you're important to me and Mikasa. You're not like the others, Armin. You'll be in the outside world, and I'll be right there to tell you what's there like the sea, the flaming water, the frozen earth, plains of sand as white as snow! I'll be right there, Armin. Right there for you." Eren said with great enthusiasm like when they were children. It brought Armin to tears, causing him to wrap his arms around Eren. A soft smile was splayed across Eren's face, as he caressed Armin's back.

Mikasa headed to Eren, seeing that she hasn't found the blond boy yet. It softened her heart when she saw the two on the street, Eren and Armin. It was probably the fact that it was Armin, the person that Eren wanted to be with made it easier for Mikasa to cope. _Coping_. Why was it always so easy for her to do so? Even as a child, it's already been that way. It's been easier for her than anyone she's ever known. That was the mystery of Mikasa, because she didn't know the answer herself.

Putting on a façade, she ran to the two. "Eren? Armin?" she yelled, deciding that it was about time to return. It took some time and direction before they got back to the headquarters, but they all made it back, and that's all Eren cared about.

* * *

"So you want to know if Armin can still participate in Survey Corps?" Levi asked. Eren nodded in anticipation of Levi's answer. _"If Armin leaves, then that means I'd barely see him. If he stays, what would he do here? If he came along on the expeditions, he'd be killed…" _ Eren thought. "I think it would be best if Armin left, and I know that you're well aware of that." Levi was right, Eren did think that it was for the best, but he also knew that it would weigh heavily on Armin. Armin wanted to be with his friends, and Armin didn't want to seem weak due to his disability, but it was inevitable. "But you want him to stay, don't you?" Levi said, staring directly at Eren. "Who'd want to stay here and lie around like a useless piece of shit?" Eren spat. But Levi was right, once again. Eren hated how Levi could read him like a book. He also hated how the things he used to say to his friends five years ago contradicted his decision making now. _Weak, livestock, caged, humiliated… _If Armin was dismissed from the Survey Corps, all these words would consume him. It seemed like there wasn't a way out of this situation. It was suffocating him.

"Eren." Levi called with his stern voice, snapping Eren out of his daze then continued. "By tomorrow afternoon, I will need your answer on whether you want Armin to stay or leave. As for now, get out of my office." Eren stood up and left without a word. Eren was torn. Did he want to protect Armin from the titans, or did he want to protect Armin from himself?

"What did Captain Levi say?" Armin asked as he sat by the window in his room, fearing the answer. "He hasn't made up his mind yet." Eren said with great seriousness in his tone. Armin held his hand. No one spoke for minutes until Eren broke the silence. "I'm sorry that I keep letting you down." Armin squeezed Eren's hand. "Idiot… you're so annoying! How many times do I have to tell you to stop burdening yourself with the likes of me? I'm just dead weight!" Armin said in frustration. "Could you shut up?" Eren said as he slammed his fist on the wall, causing Armin to flinch. There was a long silence. Only their breaths could be heard until Eren could no longer take it. "I bother myself with the likes of you because I want to! No, I need to. You're a part of me! Stop making yourself seem less than what you're really worth. It's really annoying." Armin stared at Eren. Whenever Eren said things like these, the thought of leaving killed him a little more every time, but whenever Eren expressed such affection it made Armin feel so loved, so alive. Armin inhaled, breath shaking. He wanted to cry, but that's all he's been doing lately and it pissed him off. Armin didn't understand why everything had to contradict each other.

"Armin…" Eren caught his attention. His hands were on Eren's shoulders. He closed the gap between them with a kiss. Armin couldn't hold back his tears anymore. It would kill him to be taken away from the very stubborn, hard-headed Eren. The one he's come to fall in love with.

Eren entered Levi's office. "Sit down," said Levi without looking at Eren. "Have you made your decision?" Levi asked, and Eren could only hope that putting faith in his decision was the right thing to do. He could only hope that Armin would be okay.

* * *

A/N: Sorry it's short! I've been really busy lately so sorry if it's pure, utter shit and** please review**! If you have any ideas or requests on how you want the story to go, then please, be my guest. :D (Writer's block can be a major bitch sometimes.)


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Sorry it took long! Writer's block can be really annoying. Hope you enjoy!

**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own attack on titan! :(

* * *

Chapter 5

Eren left the office and headed towards to Armin's room. Once he got there, he knocked on the door twice and Armin swung the door open.

"Eren," he said, looking relieved. "So, am I staying?"

Silence filled the two of them.

"Eren?" Armin started to look worried. "I am, right?"  
"Pack your bags and leave in the morning," was all Eren could say as he walked away.

"Wait!" Armin ran after Eren, grabbing his arm. "You…you said no?"  
Eren looked around, anywhere but at Armin. He sighed. "You're useless here so I'm sending you away." Armin let go of Eren's arm. He felt tears roll down his cheeks. "I know, but, I can at least help in something right? Eren please, I don't want to—"  
"Stop it Armin." Eren started walking away. "You'll just be dead weight to the squad anyways. You should leave."

Armin stopped chasing him and just stood there. He was fully aware of such things, but he didn't expect to hear Eren say it in such a harsh way. He ran back to his room, slamming the door shut.

Eren heard the door slam, and he was filled with sudden guilt.

There was a reason why he said it in that way, a reason why he let Armin feel like that but at that time he couldn't remember and he just wanted to say sorry.

He continued to walk and walk, not really sure where to go. He remembered the conversation that happened at the office earlier.

"_No? But I thought you wanted him to say." Levi asked.  
"I do but," Eren started, thinking about the consequences of saying either yes or no. "He won't be able to do anything. I don't want him to feel useless."  
"Hmmm," Levi started to twirl his pen with his fingers. "But it's more than that, yes? You want to protect him, to make him feel safe. But the only way to do that is to lose him, right? It's affecting you more than what your face says right now."  
Eren clench his teeth. Is it Levi or is it that he was just so easy to read?  
"I have to do it," Eren said, barely being heard by Levi. All he wanted was to protect Armin, but he wasn't sure if he was doing this for Armin or for himself. He felt like he was doing the right thing, but to only benefit one of them. He felt stupid. He didn't even know if this was the right decision or not._

"Alright," Levi said, putting the pen back on the table. "But you'll have to break it to him. Tell him to leave tomorrow morning."

"What?" Eren exclaimed. He was silly for complaining but he didn't feel that he'd have the heart to tell Armin. "I have to break it to him? You and I both realize that—"  
"Yes I'm quite aware, but I'm a busy man." Levi turned his chair to face the window at his back. "And plus, I'm not supposed to be involved with this, am I? Now go. I have more important matters to attend to."

Eren wanted to just crouch down to the floor and cry. He wanted to rush to Armin, tell him that he didn't mean it that way. He wanted Armin to stay, but he'll end up feeling bad.

Guilt and selfishness was all he felt at that moment, a nasty combination that one should never feel. He felt sick, and he just wanted to escape all of his troubles. But he knew that he couldn't, that it would end up being a plague chasing him down. If he doesn't do anything about it, it'll swallow him whole. He'll have to confront it, whether he liked it or not.

"Eren?" He turned and saw Mikasa behind him, a look of worry on her face. "I saw you pass by. Is something the matter?"  
Eren just looked at her. "Armin is leaving tomorrow morning. You should help him pack his things."  
"What?" Mikasa looked shock. "But I thought you didn't—"  
"Mikasa, now is not the time." Eren felt even guiltier that he was treating Mikasa like this, but he really wasn't feeling all that well right now. "I'm sorry. I'll explain tomorrow, promise."  
Mikasa looked at Eren and sighed. "Alright, but don't exhaust yourself. Get some rest." Mikasa said and left.

Eren headed towards his room, hoping he could sleep everything off.

* * *

The next morning, Mikasa helped Armin started to pack his things, from extra clothes to the sketches he would place on display. Mikasa could see strategy plans, pages ripped from old books and just random sketches filling up the walls in his room. She searched around the papers stuck on the wall, each telling a different memory. She stopped at a sketch of Eren in his titan form.

"Oh wow," Mikasa said, getting the drawing from the wall so that she could see it more clearly.

"Hmm? What is it?" Armin looked up from what seemed like him attempting to fix his clothes, and failing due to the mess of shirts ruffled up together.

Mikasa laughed and headed toward Armin's bed, beginning to fix his clothes. "It's just that the drawing you drew of Eren in his titan form. Good work there, Arlert."

Armin stopped moving and just stood there, motionless.

"Um, Armin?" Mikasa started to worry, thinking that she said something wrong. "Is, is something wrong?" Armin snapped out of his daze and turned to Mikasa. He smiled. "It's nothing Mikasa, you have nothing to worry about. Ah, can you help take the papers down? I almost forgot them until you mentioned them."

Mikasa could tell there was something wrong but decided not to get further in. Something probably happened between Armin and Eren last night.

"Yeah sure," Mikasa turned to take down the papers stuck to the walls of his room.

When Mikasa mentioned the drawing, Armin suddenly remembered.

"_Woah Armin," Eren's face was filled with amusement as he brought the drawing near to the candle on the library table. "I can't believe you drew my titan form."  
"Well yeah," Armin laughed a bit. "I had to do it for Levi's squad, for your training."  
"Wow, this is amazing." Eren said and looked at it with awe. "You got all the details right and everything." Eren smirked and leaned closer to Armin's face. "Have you been secretly stalking me while I practice?"_

_Armin face turned a bit red. "Of course not! I just ended up taking note on how you looked!" Armin pushed Eren lightly on the shoulder and Eren laughed._

"_I'm joking, Armin," He laughed and settled back down on his seat. "It's amazing how you got every detail. Thanks." Eren smiled._

Armin never told him that the reason why he remembered the details was because Armin took a definite interest on how Eren's anatomy was when he was in titan form. He can tell that Eren's was built up differently from all the other titans.

Armin started to feel sad remembering Eren, especially from what happened last night. Armin knew that there was a specific reason why he acted like that. But if worse comes to worse, it would mean that Eren didn't…

Armin didn't even want to think about it. _"There, there has to be another reason." _Armin thought. He knew he sounded desperate, that he didn't even want to imagine it happening. It made him sick that he couldn't man up to such a thing if it did happen. He'd end up crying over it and it made him want to stab himself. He didn't want to be pitied for such a thing, and he still had Mikasa to think about. He was fully aware that Mikasa liked Eren, and it wouldn't help that he'd push himself in. It would just make things complicated.

* * *

After packing all his stuff, Mikasa lead Armin outside to say his farewells to the rest of the squad. Although Armin didn't show it, he was disappointed that they didn't meet Eren while passing through the headquarters. They're last stop was Levi's office. When they entered however, he was not there.

"Huh?" Mikasa said as she walked in the office.  
"What's wrong?" Armin asked. He tried walking further in, only to bump into the side table.

Mikasa murmured and apology and set Armin to sit on the couch. "Captain Levi isn't here. I'm going to go and ask some people nearby if they know where he is. You stay here, okay?"  
Armin nodded and Misake left the room and closed the door.

Being able to see only shadows and colors was more difficult than it sounds. Only being able to see blurs of colors and not even shapes pissed off Armin, but he'd have to deal with it. He looked around the office seeing different shades of brown and black and green. He stood up and walked toward to Levi's table, one step at a time. When he was able to feel the surface of the desk, he slowly made his way around it. He felt the handles of the drawers and started to feel the edge of the desk. The wood was smooth and he could remember the shiny gloss on it. Suddenly he heard the door open and footsteps walked in.

"Mikasa? Is that you?" Armin asked, facing where the door is. "Or is it Captain Levi?"

Silence filled the room and all Armin could see was a blurred figure just standing there.

"Um, hello?" Armin started to make his way to the door. The figure started backing away, only to bump into the furniture.

"Shit," The figure whispered, but Armin was able to recognize the voice.  
"Eren?" The figure stopped moving completely. It sighed, and straightened its back.

"I wasn't expecting you to be here." He coughed and moved a step forward. "You were supposed to say your goodbyes to Levi, right?"  
"Yeah," Armin said. He fidgeted a little. Why was this so awkward? "And you?"  
"Suppose to give him something," Eren shifted his weight, and started to walk towards Levi's desk. He dropped the something white, a folder Armin suspected, and walked back to his previous position.

"I'll be going now," Eren started walking out of the office, when Armin attempted to grab his arm but instead slam his hand right on Eren's back, causing Eren to fall.

"Oh god, I'm so sorry." Armin tried helping him up, reaching his hand out for Eren to grab. "It's because, um you know…"  
"Yeah," Eren said. "Your blind and stuff." He said it so bluntly and Armin couldn't even recognize his voice. Armin felt sad and depressed. _"I have to ask,"_ Armin thought. _"It's either now or never."_

"Why are you being so awkward around me? Was it because of last night?" Armin wanted to shout but he'd have to wait until he heard an explanation. "I know I shouldn't complain and I'm being annoying right now. I know perfectly well why I shouldn't be here but, why did you have to say it like that?"

Eren stood in silence for a few minutes, and began to speak. "I wanted to protect you okay? I wanted you to stay of course, but I couldn't stand to see you doing nothing and feeling useless. I'm not even sure if it was for you to be in a better place or for me to not feel guilty for myself," Eren grabbed both of Armin's hands and held them tightly while he brought them to his face. "I only want you to feel safe Armin, not hurt. I'm so, so sorry."

Armin was shocked at hearing Eren's words. He didn't know that Eren felt that strongly about it, how much feelings and thoughts he had.

"E-Eren," Armin could feel wet tears on his hands, coming from Eren's face. "I didn't know—"

The door swung open and Eren let go of Armin's hands. At the doorway was Levi and Mikasa.

"Mikasa called me because you were here to say your goodbyes," Levi walked towards his desk. "I'm guessing you already gave back your gear and uniform?"  
"Yes sir," Armin then reached into his bag and brought out a badge. "This is all that is left."  
"Keep it," Levi said as he sat down. "You've earn it. Make it a reminder that you served the Survey Corps with honor."

Armin was shocked to hear these words. He put the badge back in his bag and saluted to Levi. "It's been a pleasure to work with you, sir." Levi stood up as well and saluted. "Now go."

Mikasa and Eren lead Armin to the gates of the headquarters. This was it. This was their final goodbye. Mikasa hugged Armin, saying that he'll be okay and that they would visit him. Afterwards, Eren hugged Armin, saying everything is going to be okay.

"Be good, alright?" Armin said. "Mikasa I hope you watch over Eren. He might do stupid things while I'm gone."

"Might?" Mikasa scoffed. "He **will**. But yeah, I'll watch over him."

"You guys!" Eren complained. "Thanks for putting so much trust in me."

Armin laughed at Eren's sarcasm and let go of Eren. "So I guess this is goodbye?"

"There are no goodbyes," Eren said and smiled.

"Haha, yeah." Armin smiled back and turned, heading outside the gate.

* * *

A/N: Sorry if the story sucks or whatever. It's just really hard to sort things out in my head! Chapter 1-3 were really going so well and then it just kind of fell apart in my head so… yeah! I don't really think things through, don't I? Well, if you've got any suggestions go ahead, and reviews are always appreciated!


End file.
